For my first teaching practical I went to work at a public boys' school in the outer suburbs of Sydney and discovered to my delight that my supervisor was my favourite maths teacher from high school. Thomas, who had been my teacher for years 11 and 12, had been every girl's crush as he was not just the only young, attractive male teacher at the all-girls school; he was also a genuinely nice person who we could tell wanted us to succeed.
Thomas was still the fantastic teacher I remembered him to be and in the first few weeks of my first practical Thomas gave me lots of helpful advice as well as being fascinated to listen to my stories from my time in South America. It felt so good to talk to him, and in our break times I started asking Thomas about his life too.
He had just gone skydiving for his 33rd birthday and loved spending the weekends with his sister's kids. One day he explained that he had stopped teaching at my high school the year after my year group had left because he felt a lot of pressure being a male teaching at an all-girls school. I was about to joke about how to my year-old self he was the closest thing to Leonardo DiCaprio I had seen in my life.
Then I realised that my year-old self felt attracted to him in a completely new and very adult way. Was this the start of a teacher student affair?! I was embarrassed to feel myself blushing and remembering the way my friends and I used to talk about him after class and felt really awkward around him for the last few weeks of my prac. I could tell he was confused about the way I avoided being alone with him and I really missed being able to ask him for advice — really I just missed talking to him. On my last day Thomas organised a going-away afternoon tea for me and when he came over to give me a card and flowers from the staff he asked if he could speak to me privately.
I followed him down the corridor until he suddenly stopped and stood looking at me without speaking for a few seconds. It was the first time we had been alone together for weeks and my heart was racing.
About Grow your Grades
I felt so sad to be leaving the school and I also accepted that I was sad to leave him too. I was tempted to ask him out but was worried he would feel it was too odd since he had been my teacher so long ago. When he asked whether I would be interested in coming back to the school for my next prac I was stunned for a minute. I had been thinking about him on a more personal level but there he was thinking about organising the next school term.
Of course I replied that I would love to come back and, wanting to get away before he saw the tears that had started welling in my eyes I turned away to walk back to the staff room. Post continues after video. I had taken about three steps back towards the staff room when I heard Thomas say something quietly behind me. I felt his hand on my shoulder and heard him say my name like a question. I turned back to face him and he saw how upset I was.
I remember laughing through my tears as I felt his arms come around me. We have been married for two very happy years now, and I got a full-time job teaching at a school near our house while he still teaches at the boys' school where we met again as adults. It doesn't feel at all like a teacher and student having sex - thank goodness!
I married my high school teacher | Woman's Day
If you truly like her, keep it a platonic friendship for at least a year and make sure it's not just a light student-teacher crush. And unless you really like her a lot, I don't recommend dating her just for kicks or casually. Even after she graduates, there is some stigma to dating a former student. So decide if she is worth the gossip.
I would say once she turns 21, that would be even better for you. On other message boards, most guys feel that women under 24 years old just come with a lot of drama, and under 21 is even worse. Is she hot looking? My guess is she'll have a more favorable memory of you after the semester if you give her that A. Might want to keep that in mind when doing final grades. I wouldn't risk it. It's not the age difference- I'm 19 and dated a 28 year and it was one of the best relationships I have had- but it can only be bad for your job. If you waited until she was completely out of the college you teach at, it would be one thing.
However, it is generally against the rules if not just universally frowned upon to date a student while he or she is still attending college. I agree with charo. It's not worth it.
Plus, you don't know if she is using you to further her educational needs. Believe me, even though you would no longer be her teacher, you still have influence as a faculty member. In the sunshine on a ship with a plank. You could jeopardize your career- even if dating a former student isn't against policy, it's certainly something that could be considered questionable conduct.
You don't want you bosses to think you're using the student body bodies as a dating pool. If you're a college professor or adjunct, you've obviously worked hard and invested a great deal of time, effort and money into your education.
True confession: Student and teacher relationship
The last thing you need to do is risk all that for a piece of you know what. At the very least, make sure she's no longer a student there before you date her. I've given this issue a lot of thought over the years and have discussed it with many professionals and students, and the consensus seems to be that it's best to wait until the student has graduated. Morally speaking, I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting until she isn't in your class any longer, but you really take a risk, I think.
Your boss might not appreciate it, and you don't want to take such a risk.
I say wait until she is an alum. Even if there isn't an official rule against it, I think it is universally frowned upon.
Real life story: "I married my high school teacher"
My university doesn't have a rule against it written anywhere, but a professor who chooses to date someone who is still attending the university will be talked about. I think it's something to avoid. I remember the professors who dated students in my college.
Even if they were no longer their students, the profs got a rep as "one of those" guys and were taken less seriously academically. Maturity is a two way street. As men get older, they are less mature concerning younger women.
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